Dating Subordinates | Risks and Tips

Dating Subordinates | Risks and Tips

Dating Subordinates | Risks and Tips

Dating your subordinate, or the mere expression of interest towards him/her will bring the raising eyebrow of people in the workplace, whether you like it or not. That is why, as much as possible, this kind of relationship is discouraged in most companies. Other than that, it could also spare the superior from being sued from possible harassment coming from the subordinate.

Dating Subordinates | Risks and Tips

Potential Risks

1. You might be seen as someone taking advantage, or he/she might do the other way around

He/she is under your power, technically. So, whatever decision you make, he/she might think that you’re taking it personally. Another thing is that since you do not know him/her well, he/she might also take advantage of you and your kindness.

2. It taints your reputation

You don’t want to be remembered as someone eyeing for subordinates, that I am sure of. If you date one subordinate, other people in the workplace would have the impression throughout that you’re that kind of person who will always fall in love with the same position.

3. The integrity of your decisions will be at risk

Others might think that you are deciding for the benefit or advantage of your love interest! So, the conclusion that you are always able to come up with will always be scrutinized by other superiors.

Dating Subordinates | Risks and Tips

Tips/Things to Do

But what if you’re really in love and you are really into the relationship? Well, here is some advice that I could give you.

1.Know the existing rules. Check the handbook or the contract.
2. Give it some time. Even if you are really in love with him/her, give it some time before you decide and let other people know if you have that intention.
3. Do not do anything that might be seen as harassment. It means that you have to be careful at all times. The way you talk, the way you act, should always be the acceptable one.
4. Be discreet. No need to make it as a full secret because people around you could surely notice it. On the other hand, there is also no reason for you to be very vocal about it. Just keep it silent and straightforward.
5.Set aside personal matters. No matter what you’re going through in your relationship, never let it affect you in the workplace.
6.No to gossips. Despite the stories that you have about each other, never divulge such information to anyone in the office. It does not only breaks the other person, but it also cuts your reputation.

With all these things, I believe that it would be better to date someone with the same position, or a colleague, than a subordinate. Since that will be much appropriate and safer, but if the love is there and there is nothing you can do about it, give your best shot and be the most responsible person you could ever be. You need to be patient and at the same time disciplined, to handle such a relationship. Good luck!

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5 Comments

  1. Fran Jorgensen

    I really try to leave the office life and my personal life separate, otherwise, I feel like my decisions could get compromised.

  2. Great advice. I would imagine it’s very difficult for people working together to keep a relationship without problems and your advice is very helpful.

  3. Jasmine M

    These are some great tips. I completely agree with making it discreet. Once the secret is out, it can potentially be an issue and it can be spun into all sorts of rumors and speculations. You definitely have to be careful and take proper precautions when it comes to dating in the office for sure.

  4. Office relationships can be risky, especially if you’re dating a subordinate. I have a friend who was in this kind of situation before, and despite experiencing many stumbling blocks along the way, they ended up marrying each other after three years of discreetly dating. 🙂

  5. Good tips! Sometimes when we are at work with someone everyday it is easy to form a relationship, your advice is spot on!!

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