Dating Subordinates | Risks and Tips

Dating Subordinates | Risks and Tips

Dating your subordinate, or the mere expression of interest towards him/her will bring the raising eyebrow of people in the workplace, whether you like it or not. That is why, as much as possible, this kind of relationship is discouraged in most companies. Other than that, it could also spare the superior from being sued from possible harassment coming from the subordinate.

Dating Subordinates | Risks and Tips

Potential Risks

1. You might be seen as someone taking advantage, or he/she might do the other way around

He/she is under your power, technically. So, whatever decision you make, he/she might think that you’re taking it personally. Another thing is that since you do not know him/her well, he/she might also take advantage of you and your kindness.

2. It taints your reputation

You don’t want to be remembered as someone eyeing for subordinates, that I am sure of. If you date one subordinate, other people in the workplace would have the impression throughout that you’re that kind of person who will always fall in love with the same position.

3. The integrity of your decisions will be at risk

Others might think that you are deciding for the benefit or advantage of your love interest! So, the conclusion that you are always able to come up with will always be scrutinized by other superiors.

Dating Subordinates | Risks and Tips

Tips/Things to Do

But what if you’re really in love and you are really into the relationship? Well, here is some advice that I could give you.

1.Know the existing rules. Check the handbook or the contract.
2. Give it some time. Even if you are really in love with him/her, give it some time before you decide and let other people know if you have that intention.
3. Do not do anything that might be seen as harassment. It means that you have to be careful at all times. The way you talk, the way you act, should always be the acceptable one.
4. Be discreet. No need to make it as a full secret because people around you could surely notice it. On the other hand, there is also no reason for you to be very vocal about it. Just keep it silent and straightforward.
5.Set aside personal matters. No matter what you’re going through in your relationship, never let it affect you in the workplace.
6.No to gossips. Despite the stories that you have about each other, never divulge such information to anyone in the office. It does not only breaks the other person, but it also cuts your reputation.

With all these things, I believe that it would be better to date someone with the same position, or a colleague, than a subordinate. Since that will be much appropriate and safer, but if the love is there and there is nothing you can do about it, give your best shot and be the most responsible person you could ever be. You need to be patient and at the same time disciplined, to handle such a relationship. Good luck!

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15 Comments

  1. Klint Libona BSIT 3-A2

    CHAPTER 2 QUIZ
    Culture is about what people believe and how they behave, including values, visions, systems, habits, attitudes and interaction with outside world and future expectations. Therefore, professionally, for a boss to date his or her subordinate is somehow not okay.
    Chances are that at some point in your career you became aware of a colleague dating his or her boss. Once colleagues notice a relationship vibe between two people (which inevitably they will) and the gossip spreads (which unfortunately it always does), the impact is felt across the department and the entire company, which will lead to a chaos in the company or organization. Boss-subordinate romance is laden with risk to the organization and the individuals, as it will exhibit their values and behaviors in the organization and people will attach the meanings to their actions. It might affect their productivity, performance and interactions in the organization. The policy went on to state that it is not “appropriate to show favoritism or make business decisions based on emotions or friendships rather than on the best interests of the company.”

  2. Emel B. Baldeveso

    Emel Baldeveso BSIT 3-A2 OCTOBER 22,2021

    It depends on the company’s policies if it’s okay for the boss and the employee to date. Because there is a company that is allowed and there is also a company that is forbidden, but many companies have banned it because they can’t focus on their work or when you are under pressure at work, so it’s better to ban dating between the boss and the employee.

  3. I think it’s a little bit problem that you dated your subordinate because you can’t concentrate in your work and it can affect you and your co-workers, more eyes on both of you . And yeah if you were a boss and you really in love with your subordinate you’ll go for it and willing to take a risk. The only things that you would to don’t cause trouble or problem, jealousy of your workers to your dated subordinate is set aside your personal matters, intentions don’t let it affect you and your job in your workplace, be professional. You need to be well disciplined and be patient in order to handle that kind of relationship. There is always a time to do your personal intention to date your subordinate after your working time in your workplace.

  4. Ashlley Jaztine Hisu-an, BSIT 3-A2

    Love has no boundaries, love is limitless. You can choose to love the Person no matter what the situation. Love is a special kind of feeling that No one could ever judge or stop.
    But still it is Important to do your job right. You still have to observe when and where to show those affection without disturbing others work. You can have Romantic relationship with your subordinate but should know your priorities.

  5. Kelly L. Lavergas BSIT 3A-2

    For me, it’s okay to date a boss. But it should be out of their job. There’s no problem if a boss and a subordinator love each other as long as they don’t step on anyone. But there are many disadvantages to coming to a boss there are many issues. One of them is having the favor of his subordinators, lack of fucos in working. But those are just normal in a dating.

  6. Manuel Fungo 3A2

    Work place relationship can be a potentially big problem. In many cases it has worked for a lot of people but often times it lead to problems that the only course of action is to let go of both parties. In the real world sense, if it works for them and the company allows it then let them be as long as the relationship does not interfere with their jobs. If it is forbiden in the by laws of the company they have to let the company know of whats going on and one has to sacrifice by leaving the company. Personally, i would allow it with the premise that their relationship would not interfere with their jobs. Manuel Fungo 3A2

  7. RODNY J MALACAD BSIT3 A2

    It’s not okay to mislead the subordinates of a boss because it’s not allowed and there is a policy in a company and if the boss misleads it happens to him it seems like he will just follow his subordinates one after the other and that should not be done by a boss.

  8. INPSYC
    JADE G. DIVINAGRACIA BSIT 3-A2

    It is okay if because there is no law against dating One’s boss . but many companies have policies in place that restrict bosses and managers from dating subordinate employees. But office dating also can cause distractions, conflicts, preferential treatment and other issues.

  9. Zaver B. Divinagracia BSIT3A-2

    I think it’s okay having date with your employees for having plan to your next step for your company. And having date with your employees will also give you advice and better plan.

  10. Johnie Dave P. Cordero #3A2

    Yes as long as they can know how to distinguish or separate their romantic relationship from their work relationship. Personal matters under their romantic relationship should not be intertwined with their work. They need to stay professional with their work. As long as it exists between them then it’s okay for them to date.

  11. Fran Jorgensen

    I really try to leave the office life and my personal life separate, otherwise, I feel like my decisions could get compromised.

  12. Great advice. I would imagine it’s very difficult for people working together to keep a relationship without problems and your advice is very helpful.

  13. Jasmine M

    These are some great tips. I completely agree with making it discreet. Once the secret is out, it can potentially be an issue and it can be spun into all sorts of rumors and speculations. You definitely have to be careful and take proper precautions when it comes to dating in the office for sure.

  14. Office relationships can be risky, especially if you’re dating a subordinate. I have a friend who was in this kind of situation before, and despite experiencing many stumbling blocks along the way, they ended up marrying each other after three years of discreetly dating. 🙂

  15. Good tips! Sometimes when we are at work with someone everyday it is easy to form a relationship, your advice is spot on!!

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