Your Boss is Flirting with You | What to Do
Being likable in the workplace is something many people in the corporate setting aspire to do. After all, in an area of society where good relationships are key to access, to be otherwise may seem like sabotage of one’s own dream to get ahead of life.
However, one major downside to this premise is that persons with an appeal to other people, also suffer from a relationship perspective that is out of the line of just being professional in nature. People of positions in a company, particularly bosses, are often a perpetrator of this problem in that feelings, over anything else, get the better of them.
Both men and women alike fall victim to the issue of being an “apple to the eyes” of their superior, but the latter is often the most affected to the point of choosing to quit their employment to escape from it all.
To become a subject of this problem is more common than people would think and it could happen to anyone. If you feel like you are this person, there are ways you could counter whatever advances your boss might be taken towards you.
1. Pay little regard to the advances
There are a handful of telltale signs that say that your boss might be taking an eye on you, often underpinned by a treatment that is seemingly beneficial or a stray from your co-workers. But, as it takes two to tango, not reciprocating your boss’s advances should give off a sign that you might not be interested or that there’s something wrong in the picture overall.
2.Deflect when possible
People who flirt often do so in an attempt to affirm a particular situation. When merely downplaying your superior’s advancement is not sending a clear message that you are not okay with it, then deflecting it head-on might. Deflection can be as subtle as raising a person of significance, preferably a partner, whenever possible during any conversation.
3.Reject any opportunity for flirtation
Flirty bosses have a way of getting to people that, while seeming casual and innocent enough, has an underlying intent that leads to something else that is not necessarily work-related. Often, it takes on the form of personal meetings during lunchtime or beyond office hours or even outside of the work setting.
“Subtle” moves such as this is often hard to face head-on as it can easily be diverted to something else as a form of defense. However, there are also covert ways you could counter it which often boils down to your appearance and attitude to your job and your boss. For the most part, it involves dressing conservatively and choosing to discuss only conversations that are relevant to your work.
4. Be candid about it
If your boss is being persistent in his whims, one of the best solutions to it is to face it upfront and tell your boss how things stand. Of course, there is still an excellent way to put it as not to close a good rapport with your boss.
5.File a complaint
When all else fails, and you are still left in a very uncomfortable disposition in the workplace, the last resort would be to file a written complaint against your superior. As much as possible, try to be comprehensive about it by detailing events about your harassment and how you reacted to it which gives a chronicle view of the events culminating to the complaint.
You might be hitting a wall given the power and influence your boss may have in the company by acting against the interest of your boss. But if it would mean putting an end to something that is becoming detrimental on your end, then it has to happen.
Yes. The employee should seek help to HR Manager if ever he/she felt uncomfortable and harassed with the gestures of his/her boss so that he/she can file a formal complaint in the office, if needed. Sexual harassment will only take place if there’s a complainant. As HR Manager, I will always listen to any concerns of the employees, validate the claims and further investigate to both parties. I will reassure the confidentiality with fairness and reasonableness of the conversation between me and the complainant.
I will reiterate to the employee that he/she should know the difference of flirting and sexual harassment because there’s a possibility that flirting become sexual harassment in the workplace if it’s unwanted and persistent. The unwanted conduct of a sexual nature violates a person’s dignity or creates an intimidating, hostile, degrading or offensive environment. Also, I need to emphasize to the employee that at times, flirt and love can be misunderstood by many in terms of expressions but usually, both differs in terms of intentions and purposes.
Lastly, I will inform the employee that being sexually harassed in the workplace is protected by the law and he/she should not be afraid to report to the HR Department, if necessary.
If I am the hr of the organization the best advice I will give to the employee is avoid interaction to the boss if it is not ralated to the work or assigned the both employee in different department to avoid interaction, while investigation process happened. The best thing I can do to help the victim of sexual harassment first I will do proper investigation about the complain of my employee to show fairness to everyone. I will not easily accused someone without due process of investigation, I will ask everyone in the company about the accused, also i will check his/her work background in his previous company, and if the complain is true I don’t have choice but to fire him/her even though he is in the higher position and giving the best record about the company. I will fire him/her because it is hard for someone to work with fear about sexual harassment especially for women. This type if case nowadays not only happening in women but also in men, for me this a big problem within the organization, because this type of case can cause big problem especially if the victim ask help from outside, it can destroy also the truss of costumer or client of the organization and affect the social rerlationship for the employee, furthermore if I am the hr I will not tolerate sexual harassment in higher or lower position in the company. Nowadays we can see that there are many professional which is male and female, so this is one of the challenging responsibility of the hr because he or she is the voice of the victims not only sexual harassment but also other cases than affect each one of the employees.
If he/she thinks that the boss is cute and won’t bother if he/she is flirting with him/her then we don’t have a case.
But, if the employee feels that he/she’s not comfortable with how his/her boss treats him/her in the organization, I would advise that he/she should tell his/her boss in an appropriate way. Expressing one’s feelings might provide awareness to the boss that you don’t like the way he/she treats you in the organization. Some bosses don’t realize it until you make him/her aware of it.
Though he/she is not directly demanding for sexual favors but if it makes you feel uncomfortable, then you have the right to make him/her aware that you are not comfortable with.
Don’t give a thief a chance to steal something, it might catch you unaware so better be prepared. Make a diary of details of things you think inappropriate and make you uncomfortable so you could have partial evidence in case it might end up in a lawsuit or legal argument.
Remember that “ sexual harassment isn’t limited to making inappropriate advances. It includes any unwelcome verbal or physical behavior” (thebalancecareer.com)so flirting might qualify for sexual harassment.
If he/she refuses to act accordingly about his/her behavior, file a formal complaint.
It’s inevitable that relationships would develop in a workplace. And like any relationship it affects our lives may it be for our betterment or detrimental to our life as a whole.
In this particular case I would ask the employee how it affects his/her work life as well as his/her personal life. If it has a positive effect and later on develops into a personal relationship, he/she may request for work/dept./team transfer or any working arrangement that the company could offer if he/she would pursue the relationship. Since it is very likely that personal relationship with your boss/supervisor will affect work life.
Also if it has a negative effect, he/she should request for work/dept./team transfer or any working arrangement that the company could offer, since they (superior & subordinate) has already crossed the line of professional working relationship.
Of course there are absolutes if any of the concerned party married. Then I would immediately advise the employee to sever ties with his/her superior.
If the boss of your company is flirting with his/her subordinates, I will advise the employee to speak up, but in a way that the boss will not be offended. You need to show your boss that what he/she does is not right and not in a professional way. But if the boss is still not stopping harassing the employee, he/she can write a complaint to your HR and collect some evidence(pictures or videos) and support from your co-employees that they have seen your boss harassing you. If the company has a policy about sexual harassment(most companies), the boss will face disciplinary action and the best scenario will be he/she will be terminated in the company.
Flirting inside your company will be considered unprofessional and remember that the company is paying you to do your job and responsibilities. So your job is still your top priority as long as you are inside of that company. An office relationship can have serious consequences for employee morale, business culture, and the bottom line, the legal implications if a sexual harassment claim is made.
Let’s face it no matter how many policies are emphasized in employee’s handbook, flirtatious behavior is common at any workplace. Considering that I am the HR Manager, i will advise the employee to reject any form of flirtatious acts as mentioned in the article. I will be advising her also to dress appropriately and remind her the proper way of dealing with co-workers with respect. Any instances of flirtations should be reported immediately with recorded instances so due actions will be given based on the handbook of the company.
Being the HR Manager I need to observe office interactions, whether I am involved or not, helps develop a deeper understanding of office culture and interpersonal relationships.
Given that the employee already seek the help of HR, this implies that this matter is already beyond their
control. As an HR, you should advocate for every employee in your organization. The best thing to do in
this kind of situation, is to set a meeting for each of the employee involved. Ask their side of the story and
confirm the allegations. Without being bias to any of the gender, HR should come up to a decision and
plan on how to handle this incident.
If it is a flirting without sexual harassments, then I would call the offensive employee and remind them of
the code of conduct that we follow inside the organization. I will make sure the the person being flirted is
safe and protect their right as an employee. But if the incident made the workplace intimidating to both
parties, it already become abusive and hostile, then I will advice the employee to file for an official
complaint and support them with the Republic Act No. 7877 otherwise known as the Anti-Sexual
Harassment Act of 1995.
If I were the HR Manager of a particular entity, I would ensure the safety and security of the employee (victim) first. I will advise the employee to file a leave of absence with pay for the inconvenience. I will also inform the employee to formalize the complaints against the superior to the appropriate channels (e.g., HR Office, Police Station).
Moreover, I will make a written incident report regarding the alleged sexual harassment. This case is not only an administrative offense but is considered a criminal case. The company will also be liable and punishable by law (R.A. 7877) if this case is not heard and resolved.
A Committee on Decorum and Investigation (CODI) will be created to handle the case of the employee. The primary role of this group is to investigate the sexual harassment complaint of the employee following a procedure. The CODI will also submit their findings with the appropriate recommendations to the company’s human resources and administrative divisions.
The superior or the person who did the “flirting” or the sexual harassment will also be under preventive suspension while the case investigation is ongoing.
With this instance, as the HR Manager, I will strengthen the awareness of the employees and their superiors with the help of my HR team concerning sexual harassment and other forms of violence in the workplace.
Let’s face it no matter how many policies are emphasized in employee’s handbook, flirtatious behavior is common at any workplace.
Considering that I am the HR Manager, i will advise the employee to reject any form of flirtatious acts as mentioned in the article. I will be advising her also to dress appropriately and remind her the proper way of dealing with co-workers with respect. Any instances of flirtations should be reported immediately with recorded instances/ basis so due actions will be given based on the handbook of the company.
Being the HR Manager I need to be observant to office interactions, whether I am involved or not, helps develop a deeper understanding of office culture and interpersonal relationships.
To be in the Human Resource Management is a heavy responsibility since the well being of every employee is at steak whenever this kind of scenario arises. If all the mentioned advices above is still not taking effect and a complaint was already filed, then it would be proper to proceed with the company’s protocol which address this issue, even if the superior has a very significant role in the organization. If the company is promoting a harmonious work place, then it would be proper for the superior to undergo the procedure.
If despite the effort to mitigate the issue, and if the complainant employee decide to exit, helping the employee to connect to other companies would be the best support an HR manager could give.
In addition it would be a such a dishonoring act for superiors to do such acts which would heavily reflect on the organization’s credibility and standing in the society.
First and foremost, be courteous to someone even he/she is flirting with you. If you don’t like the person making the advance, turn him/her down with respect immediately, don’t prolong as it will make the situation worst. Never babble about someone whom you don’t like. Be sincere in rejecting someone, and avoid being apathetic to his/her feelings because it will have negative effects to the rejected party’s emotions. In the event that the advance continue after the rejection, give him/her a fair warning that you will file a complaint against him/her. Don’t just hastily file the complaint, give anyone a chance to reflect on his/her mistakes. Wisdom is always gold during this events to avoid unnecessary altercations. If its already excessive, its time to alert the HR and ask for police assistance for protection.
Putting myself on the situation of the subordinate, it is really very uncomfortable when your boss is flirting with you especially if he/she is not your type hehehehe.
If I were that person, I will also follow the tips given on the article so that my boss will stop flirting with me. The tips given are very appropriate to the situation.
If I am the HR Manager, I will advise the subordinate the same thing with the help of my office. And he/she need to be strong and firm if it will end up filling a complaint against his/her boss.
If the said employee is okay with the boss making advances on him/her then I will let it be ,But they need to keep things professional so as to avoid favoritism in the workplace. they should also avoid making it obvious for the other employees that they are flirting to one another so as to not give the other employees an idea that because he/she is closer to the boss he/she can have a lighter load compared to them.
They should also keep things professional, they should be reminded that when they are near or inside the workplace they are supposed to treat each other as an employee and a boss.
And if the employee is uncomfortable of having his/her boss flirting with him/her, he/she can give off a warning to the boss and if the boss is persistent and he/she is getting irritated he/she can document these advances so as when they reach the point that they aren’t able to handle these instances he/she can file those legally as sexual harassment since it is stated in Republic Act No. 7877.
If I am the HR Manager and there is an employee seek for advice. On what to do when the boss is flirting. I will investigate the scenario and ask her if there is a brief touch on the shoulder often? And any signs they make physical contact, prolonged eye contact, ask more in-depth questions, and give a lot of compliments. If all of these are true, it’s better to ignore them to reduce the possible opportunities for flirtation. Avoid having meetings at lunchtime or beyond office hours. And the best thing to do is express your disapproval of the situation without hurting the feelings of your superior.
However, the boss continues the wrongdoings make written reports. Records of all the incidences include the time, date, location, and witnesses.
He/she must properly observe his/her boss if the attention given to him/her is not the same as the other employees. Also, he/ she must properly identify the difference between flirting and sexual harassment. If he/she directly demanding sexual favors or any other form of verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature that negatively impacts him/her. He/she must do a counteraction to immediately stop any uncomfortable situation. He/she must speak up because silence means giving a person consent to do it even though it is wrong.
I can further advise him/her to formally file a complaint to his/her boss due to this may lead to a negative impact on his/her working environment or working performance. Even this is only a flirtatious behavior of his/her boss is normal to the Company, this is still not acceptable to the morale of a person and this must be properly addressed by the Company.
Flirt- a word that is easy to utter but hard to determine the factual score depending on the individual’s perception, guts, and feelings. Many fell to the bait of someone who portrays mysteriously and brought curiosity to others. Some had taken advantage of others out of innocence. Few are strong enough to win the battle against falling into a deep well out of nowhere and uncertainty. Others are playing naivete and firmly denying its purity without malice.
When an employee is flirting with his/her boss, some said that it is hard to resist knowing the benefits they can get out of it such as, an opportunity to elevate themselves into a position they are longing for a long time. The circumstances are indeed detrimental especially, to a boss who is married and influential. The effects both mentally and emotionally cannot be denied nor managed for a long time particularly, if the performance is greatly affected.
As the HR Manager of the organization where flirting is happening, where an employee is seeking my advice and help, I should step up to listen then analyze his/her statement. Considering its effects on our organization which created a negative vibe in the workplace thus, the level of performances among the persons involved are evident of such predicaments like rumors and prejudice. My advice would be to work professionally with his/her boss in a calm manner. If the situation became more challenging that made him/her uncomfortable, he/she should make a letter of request of reassigning to another department or branch. Another option would be for him/her to talk to his/her boss directly for him/her to be aware that he/she is no longer happy about the situation (if the feelings are not mutual and impossible to return the favor). Remember, flirt and love can be misunderstood sometimes in terms of expressions but differs in terms of intentions or purposes.
Indeed, respect cannot be demanded but earned. If people cannot give nor show it to you, do not tolerate them to do so. Show others that you deserve to be respected the way you treated them. As the HR manager, be the cradle of camaraderie among employees and spread positivity towards productivity.
This scenario is applicable to all sexes and it really happens in real life within the workplace, we cannot avoid such situations because humans in nature sometimes can’t control their urge to be attracted to someone.
As a company manager, I will assess first the issue from both parties for the reason that to be fair in judging the problem.
The first advice I can give to the employee who is the victim of the issue is that he or she should avoid unnecessary interactions with his boss that is not relevant to work, by this step the depth of the problem will be avoided. The next step is I will be utilizing open forums inside the workplace along with the bosses so that we can bring up the issues including this certain problem without specifying person. By this plan of action. the bosses will have some realizations concerning the issues.
My endmost response to this problem is that, I will urgently take action by conducting orientation to “All” employees concerning this topic in-order for them to be aware of their actions towards their co-workers.
1, If you are the HR Manager of that organization ( Given the function of HR), what will you advise to the employee should he/she seek your help?
Please write your answer in the comment section below the article.
Considering that I am the HR Manager of the organization, I will advise the employee to reject any opportunities for flirtation. To make sure any meetings will take place in the office only and not scheduled at lunchtime or during off duty time for it can be a difficult situation to decline a coffee or a simple lunch. I will advise him/her to avoid any situations where it could give a chance to his/her boss to flirt. For the time to come, that it is really hard for him/her to react especially the comments caught them off guard, he/she should have a plan of action ready to counter any situation that may occur to him/her feel uncomfortable.
For an instance, if his/her boss sits near to him/her, I advice him/her to move away. Secondly, if his/her boss makes a personal comments that could take it as an encouragement, stare at him/her impassively and change the topic which is work related. When dealing a client, booking them in an open office setting or leaving their Boss door open.
When it comes to the proper dressing, I advise his/her also when it comes to proper dressing which looks them smartly and a conservative manner that will underline his/her professional level and to give to his /her Boss a message.
The article “Your Boss is Flirting with You/What to Do” offers different ways to stop your boss’s offensive actions. It states solutions from major to minor offenses that are helpful for innocent workers who don’t want to disrespect their powerful bosses but still want to stop the possible threat from that person.
In line with this, as an HR Manager, I would tell the employee that I can still help her. The HR Team must take an appropriate step if the boss didn’t stop flirting even the employee expresses her disagreement with it. It is necessary because HR must protect its welfare to prevent the worst consequences that may happen. Also, it could ruin the company’s reputation if not resolved early.
HR Staff is responsible for implementing the policies of the company even if it is against the boss. However, before action, the plaint must be analyzed carefully. We have to make sure that the complaint has a legitimate basis. Moreover, it should be discussed with the HR team and seek legal counsel to prevent conflict in the workplace. Under, they must provide training and seminars like leadership and fair employment practices (values and violations against the law) to freshen the employees and higher-ups regarding their duties and responsibilities.
This kind of scenario needs proper action to prevent that kind of thing happen to others again. These will serve as a lesson for people who uses their power in abusing and discriminating against the weak. Indeed, the HR Manager plays a vital role in protecting, acknowledging, and taking action on the complaints.
Harassment differs from one gender to another. Predominantly, harassment happens mostly on women compared to men because women occupy inferior job positions and job roles. Harassment is often a reminder of how vulnerable women in the society in terms of sexual harassment and assault.
If an employee seeks my help as an HR about his or her problems, first I need to reassure the confidentiality with fairness and reasonableness of the conversation between me and the complainant. I will conduct a thorough investigation regarding the validity of the claims of the complainant and assess the extent of the complaint, gather necessary data from people involved, workmates and others who have witnessed the act that was done to the complainant to gather relevant evidence. The conclusion of this investigation will be dependent on the sufficiency of the evidence in line with the organization and statutory policies. If the results of this investigation proven true against the perpetrator, the organization will take necessary actions in line with its policies and procedures.
However, if the evidence is insufficient to prove the claim of the complainant, the case will be dismissed. And as an HR, it is my duty resolve the issue of the complainant because the accusation is deemed to be false and derogatory.
On the other hand, if the investigation shows that the nature of the complaint is to slander or falsely accuse the boss, sanctions will be administered to the employee according to the organization’s policy.
If the complainant is not satisfied with the investigation made by the organizations and wants to take further escalations, the organization will follow its procedures in managing legal complaints.